I really like blogging on here because none of my friends really read it. So it makes it a nice way to let things out. =].

Anyway, lately it feels as though the entire world has some big secret that I am not allowed to know.  Like everyone is in on it and no one cares enough to share it with the one person who doesn't know.  The secret of happiness has eluded me for such a long time now, and until now, I have not really cared.  But all of a sudden people I graduated high school with *that was last year only by the way* are getting engaged and married and they seem to be so together, so happy.  Then there's me.  Still the dorky single girl she has always been.  I guess it sort of feels like everyone else is growing up and becoming adults and people that will be useful and I feel like I am stuck in a rut somewhere watching them all walk past, calling for help, but no one hears me.

I am only 19, and I know I still have the majority of my life ahead of me, but I can't help but feel as though I am missing some large part of my life.  I want to know what it's like for someone to be afraid to lose me, and to need me...

Maybe I think too much. I am 19, I still do have a lot of life before me.... but still.........

So, some interesting things have been occurring in my life.  The friend I mentioned a few blogs ago, well, we're going to try to see if we can work things out.  Wr are going to try to get together sometime next week, so, *crosses fingers* here's hoping it goes well. 

Also, the renaissance faire that I go to starts next weekend! I am way excited for it. A few friends and I are even going to be getting season passes this year, and we made most of our own costumes too!  There has never really been a place in which I have felt happier. haha.

I think that's about all the fun things happening in my life for the moment. 

Have a wonderful day all! Blessed be!

peace.love.harmony.

<33333333333333.

Just thought I'd pop in and say hi.  Really there's nothing much to say, life has just been life. 

Thoughts have been racing in my mind like crazed lil demons.  Running in and out of consciousness and when one seems important and that I want to hold onto it, it runs away. Slippery lil buggers thoughts are.  I wish I could find a way to cage them so I could sort through them properly, because if I don't i fear that the lil demons will take over, and bring all the bad things back. 

But there is a light.  Even though small and faint.  It glows.  Maybe I will make it to that far distant glint of hope this time.  Maybe this time, it really is my time to shine.

Blessed be to all.

peace.love.harmony.

<3333333333333.

I have had quite a lot on my mind lately. Things that happened in the past that I just can't let go.  My best friend and I stopped talking back in like February of this year.  A lot happened, and I guess we both sort of knew our friendship was at stake.  It's been months now, and I know that, but I still miss her, well, who she used to be. 

Who honestly picks a boy over their best friends? I seriously only thought cold-hearted bitches do things like that.  I never saw her as one.  I guess it still hurts because I don't understand why she did what she did.  I could never ever imagine abandoning my friends, and I wonder the kind of stone your heart would need to be made from in order to do such a thing.

Part of me wants to just ask her, "Why," but the other part of me says to just forget it.  Move on.  Like as if getting an answer would only hurt more than just not knowing, and thinking of a thousand and one different reasons for the answer.  If i had the answer, would I truly be happier?   What if it did hurt more, than it would probably rip apart what little is left of my heart, and then where would I stand?

Well, anyway, this is just me ranting and such.  I needed to get things off my chest, so take it as you will.

blessed be.

peace.love.harmony.

Wow, it's been awhile since I was last on here.  Life has been crazy hectic now that it's summer break.  It has been wonderful though.  I am so happy that I completed my freshmen year of college witha 3.47 gpa.  The God and Goddess really helped me through a lot this year.  I really am glad that it's warm outside now, laying outside tanning, and even gardening with my mom, good things come with warm weather. =].

Blessed be to all, and hope all of you are having a wonderful summer so far!!!

<333.

peace.love.harmony.