I really like blogging on here because none of my friends really read it. So it makes it a nice way to let things out. =].

Anyway, lately it feels as though the entire world has some big secret that I am not allowed to know.  Like everyone is in on it and no one cares enough to share it with the one person who doesn't know.  The secret of happiness has eluded me for such a long time now, and until now, I have not really cared.  But all of a sudden people I graduated high school with *that was last year only by the way* are getting engaged and married and they seem to be so together, so happy.  Then there's me.  Still the dorky single girl she has always been.  I guess it sort of feels like everyone else is growing up and becoming adults and people that will be useful and I feel like I am stuck in a rut somewhere watching them all walk past, calling for help, but no one hears me.

I am only 19, and I know I still have the majority of my life ahead of me, but I can't help but feel as though I am missing some large part of my life.  I want to know what it's like for someone to be afraid to lose me, and to need me...

Maybe I think too much. I am 19, I still do have a lot of life before me.... but still.........